MARRIED LOVE AND SEX: IS SEX EDUCATION NECESSARY?
If we were to define married love in its simplest terms, we would say it has three parts: (1) a sexual attraction, (2) a deep feeling of companionship, and (3) a desire for parenthood. The first two are essential, the third very valuable for emotional fulfilment and complete, enduring happiness.
Most of us have experienced the joys and the difficulties of companionship. We have been close to our parents, our brothers and sisters, and our friends. These experiences are vitally important in preparing us to make good homes of our own.
We have also had the opportunity to discover some of the things that go into making a good marriage. But the regular day-to-day life together and the sexual intimacy between two people of the opposite sex are the factors in marriage for which people have unfortunately been the least prepared by their own relationships and observations.
From the questions that are asked them, doctors know that a great deal of ignorance and misinformation still becloud the subject of sex.
Young and older couples frequently ask us whether their sexual relations are ‘all right.’
There are some people who feel that too much emphasis on sex education is a mistake. Take the case of a young married woman who said to my wife, ‘I’m sorry Bill and I ever read that book about sex in marriage! It just made him feel guilty because he can’t live up to what it says a man should do to satisfy his wife; and I feel guilty because I’m upsetting him! I’d rather be ignorant than become self-conscious trying to follow a lot of blueprints!’
It is true that because matters concerning sex techniques and skills were taboo for so long, some writers tend to go too far in the other direction, exaggerating their importance and minimizing the importance of the physical attraction existing between two people in love.
The purposes of sex
You notice I say ‘purposes’ rather than ‘purpose.’ Biologically speaking, reproduction is the purpose of sexual intercourse—the means by which life is created. There has been some tendency in recent years to pass over this aspect of the sexual act, perhaps because at one time it was regarded as the only purpose of sexual intercourse.
Nowadays, most people feel that sexual intercourse is also the most intimate way of expressing love, (living and receiving the greatest pleasure and experiencing the release that accompanies it is a natural and healthy desire.
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