HUMAN SEXUALITY. GENDER IDENTITY
Gender is a primary difference in human sexuality. Gender can refer to the many physical differences between girls and boys and men and women.
Gender identity means the degree to which someone is considered to act feminine or masculine.
Feminine traits are ways of behaving that our society associates with being female. Masculine traits are ways of behaving that our society associates with being male. But as in all things related to our sexuality, gender identity really isn’t that simple. Everyone is different in the degree to which they live up to society’s expectations about femininity and masculinity. Almost all men have some feminine traits, and almost all women have some masculine traits.
So how do someone’s ideas about femininity and masculinity develop in the first place, and what causes us to conform or not conform to these ideas?
Our awareness and behavior as boys or girls develop after we are born, mainly from the socialization we all receive from our parents and others while growing up. Socialization refers to the ways in which a society conveys its expectations to someone about her or his behavior. The process that persuades someone to adopt behaviors that are considered socially appropriate for his or her gender is called gender scripting.
Through gender scripting, infants are slowly but continuously trained to believe what it means to be a girl or boy by the ways in which they are treated by those who raise them. Parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers treat girls very differently than they do boys. For example, as babies, girls are more likely to be held gently, cuddled,
and sung to by parents, while boys are more likely to be bounced around when handled. While most parents buy dolls for girls, they buy footballs and baseball bats for boys.
As children grow, they respond to gender scripting by adopting behaviors that are rewarded by parents and their peers. They stop or hide behaviors that are ridiculed or punished. Thus, by age three, children have usually learned to prefer the toys and clothes that society considers appropriate for their gender. These behaviors and preferences form gender roles, socially defined expectations that people have of either gender.
While gender roles vary greatly from culture to the next, from one ethnic group the next, and from one social class to the gender roles are universal—that is, all so have expectations of female and male behavior, and grooming.
Our perceptions of gender roles are affected by gender stereotypes that can cause
unequal and unfair treatment because of a person’s gender. This is called sexism.
Because gender stereotypes are still so strong in our society, sometimes people are verbally, physically, or financially punished if they don’t act according to how society expects someone of their gender to behave. For example, women are sometimes not hired for certain jobs simply because of their gender. In a divorce hearing, a judge might automatically award custody of a child to the mother because of the belief that women make better parents. Behavior that is called “aggressive” in a man may be called “bitchy” in a woman. What may be called “emotional” in a woman may be called “wimpy” in a man.
We sometimes find ourselves trapped by our gender roles, and we limit our own behavior. In order to avoid being criticized, men are often reluctant to show their true feelings. Some fathers won’t hug their own sons because it is not considered “manly.” Women are often passive, giving in to whatever someone else wants. Many women also put limits on their sexual behavior because the slightest sexual suggestion in a woman’s behavior may result in an accusation that she is a “slut.”
Over the past several decades, however, many people have been learning to reject the stereotypical roles that our society expects each gender to fill. Americans are now free to express their gender identities in more ways than ever before in history. For example, many parents no longer dress their children in either pink or blue, but in a gender-neutral color such as green. Some also allow their children to choose their own toys.
Some schools now have as many athletic programs for girls as they do for boys. More women than ever before in history are entering the workforce in positions equal to those of men. And some men are taking a more active role in parenting by staying home to raise their children. Many men are also taking pride in their emotions, becoming more willing to express their feelings, thereby becoming more sensitive and better friends, lovers, and fathers.
All people—adults and children—are entitled to the same opportunities regardless of gender. All of us should be allowed to make our own choices about what roles are appropriate for ourselves. While we each may have very different characteristics and hopes for our futures, as girls and women, boys and men, we share equal talents, strengths, and dreams.
Four basic components of gender stereotypes
1. Personality traits. For example, women are often
expected to be passive and submissive,
while men are usually expected to be self-confident and aggressive.
2. Domestic behaviors. For example, caring for children is often considered best done by
women, while household repairs are often considered best done by men.
3.
Occupations. For example, until
very recently most nurses
and secretaries were women, and
most doctors and construction workers
were men.
4. Physical appearance. For example, women are expected to be small
and graceful, while
men
are expected to be tall and broad-shouldered.
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